THE SQUARE OF SUCCESS.

Often I’ve heard it said that if you want something badly enough then you can achieve it. Not quite true.

I don’t often think in visual terms because, being blind, it doesn’t come naturally to me. However, in this instance I do. Success to me is like a square which, like any other square, has to have four sides of equal length to make it so. If a side is missing or of unequal length, the “square” of success cannot be drawn on the map of achievement.

First of all when a successful outcome is desired, ability has to be present. Without sounding immodest, I know I have writing ability which goes beyond just putting down any old word in any old order down on a piece of paper. It’s something I was told at school and numerous times since by people from all walks of life, some of whom work in the media and who have been the recipients of funny emails and snippets which I hoped would draw their attention to me. However, though necessary, ability alone is not enough though without it you’re sunk. An avid music lover, I could never be Georgina Shearing, or Stephanie Wonder. Therefore I’ve never tried because I can only really pick out a tune one-handed on a little keyboard and can’t co-ordinate my hands.

The second side of the square is the perseverance. How many people waste their talents because they don’t persevere or can’t manage the consequences of having their dreams realised? My old blind school was harsh and the discipline rigid as I’ve said before and this has given me the staying power I’ve needed. Writing, to me is like breatheing. I love it so much that I can’t imagine life without doing it. Reading is equally important. Such wonderful authors as Daphne Du Maurier, Ruth Rendell and the psychologist Dorothy Rowe have helped me cope with the bad times and while I can never claim to be anywhere near as good as any of them, I believe I could give as much pleasure to blind and sighted readers alike – People whose lives seem empty and hopeless and who need an escape from the drudgery and daily grind of life. Apart from a nagging desire to stick two fingers up at all the people in my life who said I was fit only for making cane baskets or being guided around like a helpless beggar, I long to give that sort of pleasure to others and have voiced that longing for many years to many people.

The third side of the square is practical help. This was a very long time coming. To begin with I had to find the right people – The Guide Dogs for the Blind Association employee who encouraged me to get a computer and went further than he need have done by offering to pick one up for me if I trusted him with the money. I did and he did. He brought it home, set it up and arranged for the training I’d need to use it. Technically this help was beyond his job description but as he said:

“You can always find excuses for not doing things”.

Had he stuck rigidly to the rules as so many do then he’d have joined the ever-growing band of people who wished me luck without helping me or knowing who could. I told him some of the ideas I had in my head and it was obvious to him that I needed help. He also sees his job as that of alleviating the terrible isolation which many of his clients feel. Other reasons for difficulty in obtaining help include too few trained people spread among too many clients over too wide a catchment area and, an even more pertinent reason in these hard times of recession, lack of funds as people tighten their belts and giving is less of a priority as spare cash is unavailable. Many charities including Guide Dogs get no state funding and smaller ones get no publicity or public support. I never heard of UCANDOIT before I had their support. This is the charity which trained me to use the computer and provided me with the talking software. I also had further help, costing much more, from a blind man whom I paid privately. Then the greatest stroke of luck of all happened. I started corresponding with someone whom I met on a social internet site. I sent her a story, far too long for the blog as many of them are, describing how blindness has impacted on me and how I cope with it. She suggested I start a blog. Because of health problems and the need for hospital visits due to my feet problems and the need for a new guide dog soon, I explained I didn’t know how to do this. She offered to put the entries up for me until I can do so myself. Reliable as the days of the week and trustworthy as all the professionals who have helped me in my quest, she has faithfully done what she promised. Luck has really come into its own here since at least had the others let me down I could have complained to their superiors or the Charity Commission but I’d have had to put it down to bitter experience had my friend let me down and you’d have not read any of my work which I have so desperately wanted to share for so long with whoever wants to read it.

So there you have them – The four sides of the square: Ability; perseverance; practical help and luck. How I would like to see more blind people reach their full potential and they could do, for we all have talents whether blind or sighted, but for the want of practical help and luck. Sadly instead I have seen all too many become despondent, lose their will to persevere and watch their abilities rust and be corroded by bitterness and despair. Some turn to drink, don’t eat properly or eat too much, others hate sighted people for seeing and successful blind people for being luckier than they and one or two have tried and indeed succeeded in taking their own lives. Of course sighted people are prey to all these things too but it’s the degree which differs and the fact that we have to work twice as hard to get half as far, knowing all the time we could get further but for the helping hands we need.

This is why I’ve written this piece, in the hope of inspiring not only the blind people whose courage is failing but you who are not blind so that one day you may reach out your hand containing the pencil light of hope which can help draw the square of success on another’s map of achievement. If you, and indeed I,don’t hold out that pencil light of hope, then vital and sometimes vibrant chapters will be missing not necessarily from my story and stories, but from the whole human story and I think that would be not only a waste but a shame since we’re all pages in the book of humanity and what a varied book that is!