A QUICK DEPARTURE.

All of us have had them haven’t we? The mother-in-law (or father-in-law let’s not be sexist here), who have stayed too long or the talkative blind woman who you have met across your garden fence while you were putting out your washing on Monday and now it’s Friday – Much harder to get rid of. The same talkative blind woman – Me, actually found a sure fire way of ejecting stay-too-longs from my home. No I wasn’t rude, didn’t let off stink bombs or keep pressing the button on my talking watch. I followed her cue in fact and picked up on a ball she threw and ran with it.

A rather well meaning but tiresome lady from some charity or other, hell bent on doing good decided to nobble me and talk to me about the wonderful ways of my latest hairy acquisition, Esme.

“What a wonderful animal she is! Tell me does she help you round the house”?

By now her questions like:

“Who dresses you”?

“How do you find your mouth with your cutlery”?

That came after the one:

“Do you eat with your fingers”?

Plus lots of other silly things like that was a question too far. So I enthusiastically said:

“Oh yes indeed she does. She’s great at the washing up. A quick burst of fairy on her tongue and she gets the non-stick saucepans clean in no time – Much better than a brillow pad! You should see her with the roasting tin!”

A silence as long as the mall followed after which she said:

“Oh I see”.

She’d just drank a cup of tea you understand. With my sweetest manners and biggest smile I offered her another one and she rapidly declined while sprinting to the door, handbag in hand, all of a fluster and she bade me farewell, foregoing a final pat of the darling old Labrador and was gone, never to return. As for me, I still have to do the washing up but don’t tell her will you!