“TAR VERY MUCH”.

I think out of all my guide dogs I had the most adventurous time with Wheat. Silly great lump she was but very ladylike. She had a few disgusting habits such as licking out ashtrays (obviously a dog of vice what with drinking and all) and eating tissues. Anyway one day we were coming home from somewhere or other – Probably shopping – And I smelled the gorgeously addictive smell of tar. There are others – Jays Fluid, Creosote and some others which I could go on sniffing but I’ll spare you the list which doesn’t include glue.

We reached the road and on the command: “Forward” she gaily walked me across the road. A friendly voice of a man from not too far distant a country said:

“Hey Missus! Your dog’s just walked you t’rough a load o’ tar. Well actually she spared you and walked t’rough it herself. Isn’t that grand now, how she didn’t let you get it on your shoes”?

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me”,

I said to him.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me and stop us”?

“Ah well now you see, I wanted to see what she would do, her being a blind dog and all that”!

I swear if he’d been digging a hole instead of tarring the road I’d have shoved him and his shovel right down it.

My poor dog walked home in that state, and tar burns. When we got home I had to ring the vet to see what I had to do to get it off. He told me, washing up liquid and Margarine would do it. First I put the liquid into a bowl of water, then dipped her paws into it and rubbed margarine into them and back to the bucket to wash it off. Naturally I had to tie her up outside so I could do it properly without messing up the carpets but I got every bit off, even from under her nails.

I showed her feet to a passer-by afterwards who said in true Bruce Forsyth fashion (it was him wasn’t it)

“Didn’t she do well”? Of course he was talking to the dog whose feet he was inspecting. How the poor animal worked in that state so we could get home I’ll never know but she did. Both of us had a rest day next day as I had such a bad back after all that bending that I couldn’t go out. Oh and by the way, I had dry bread for tea. No margarine had I?