TEA FOR TWO

Don’t you just dread having the workmen in? All that noise and mess and the constant making of “builder’s tea”. Sometimes though the whole thing is taken out of your hands – Both the tea and the having to have the workmen in.

Such was the case when my radiators needed to be replaced. I used to have those big old fashioned things such as the one that our milk was warmed on before Maggie snatched it off the poor little school children long after I’d grown up. Now I have new rads with slats in the top. The workmen came round to instal them or am I getting mixed up! Must be Junile dementia as opposed to senile dementia! No I rather think it was when new windows were fitted to keep out the draft – No hope with an ever-wagging tail of an ever exuberant Labrador. Anyway back to these windows I think it was. I offered the workmen a cup of tea each of course and did so without my usual rambling story about how the dog washes up. Of course they accepted my offer, together with the instructions for the concocting of this disgusting brew – Hardly any milk and a teabag left in for about a century! Then one of them said:

“Tell me luv! How’dya know when it’s brewed”?

“Have you never heard of Braille teabags”?

“Nah! How’d they work then”?

“Oh well the little dots jump about till they can’t stand the heat then they rise to the surface and clog up the spout of the pot or float on the water in a mug”.

I was expecting them to fall for it and one did say:

“Isn’t that neat”?

His mate who obviously didn’t come down with the last shower said:

“You’re ‘avin’ us on! If they blocked up the spout how’dya manage to pour it out”?

I was going to tell them I’d got an ice pick in a cupboard but instead handed them their tea saying:

“You won that one mate”,

then told them what I’d said about the dog doing the washing up. Actually it’d have been quicker to tell them she barks when it’s brewed. Now why didn’t I think of that.